how did you get involved in zines/d.i.y. publishing?
okay, so a lot of this is kind of fragmented in my mind, and i wish i had copies of my old zines to serve as a frame of reference for what happened when and exactly what it looked like. but i don’t have most of those zines anymore, or any of my journals from the time in my life when i was first getting involved in zines, and in a lot of ways my memory of that period of time is kind of patchy. i don’t usually think about it, so doing this interview is challenging and interesting for me to think about and piece together those years, and i keep remembering all these stories and things that i had almost forgotten, or just not thought about in a long time, stories that make me laugh out loud or give me a feeling of complete dread or make me feel like everything is new again. anyway, i am not completely sure how i first heard about zines, but i remember when i was thirteen, reading the inserts of bikini kill and heavens to betsy cds, which had pieces reprinted from their zines in them. and i remember walking to the library a few blocks away from the apartment i lived in with my mom and sister, and typing “zines” and “riot grrrl” into search engines on the computers there- when i found pieces i liked i would just print them out and glue them into my notebooks. i remember being totally inspired and excited by riot grrrl but in a bittersweet kind of way, since it seemed to be happening in places that weren’t the midwest and kind of inaccessible to me because of that. so there was this whole world that existed and i wanted to be a part of, but it was just out of reach, only it really wasn’t. and it took me a whole year to realize it was something i could do too. and i remember how much less isolated and alone i felt when, eventually, i started emailing other girls who were making zines and ordering from them, writing them letters about the things they wrote about and actually getting letters in return. the first time that i ever told anyone i was queer, it was a zine girl that i didn’t even know, i don’t even remember what zine she did or what her name was or anything. handwritten letters that eventually turned into more tangible friendships and hands that i could touch. i remember my friend who taught me how to steal photocopies since he worked at a copy shop, and how we would go there and drink the free coffee and work on our zines. and how i eventually got him fired for the amount of free photocopies and office supplies i took advantage of. i remember how one of the employees at a skateshop in the detroit suburbs submitted a bunch of really intricate drawing of skulls to my zine, i used them for the covers i think (i just remembered that now and i think it’s pretty funny.) i remember some of the first hardcore and punk shows i went to, and finding a small zine with facts about sexual assault at one of the tables. i had called myself a feminist since i learned the word, but zines not only gave me a voice, but feedback and an opportunity to apply it to my own life, a community, support when I felt very alone and isolated. discovering zines, riot grrrl and d.i.y, it was very much like a new world was opening up for me, as cliche as that probably sounds, its true. i remember riot grrrl michigan meetings in my bedroom, or in coffeehouses, bowling alleys and parking lots, staying up late with friends working on zines together, waiting anxiously by the mailbox everyday, the first time a friend from zines came to visit me from a few states away. split zines! oh man, nostalgia…

why do you continue making paper zines in the age of the internet? how do you think the internet has affected the world of paper zines?
i used to be involved with a DIY book and record which also had a zine library in detroit (it closed last august), and this one time the local weekly paper did a short article on the space. the article said something like “the shop sells radical books, records, and zines (like livejournal, but on paper!)” and i think that kind of sums a lot up! uh, all joking aside though, when i was first getting involved with zines the internet was definitely a tool for communication, but it was just that, a tool instead of a substitute for really connecting with people. i think it’s sad that internet blogs seem to be replacing zines, or seems to be the only way to even find out about zines these days. and while i am fairly embarrassed by the zines i made when i was in high school, the process of making them and the dialogue that came from them totally radicalized me in a way that wouldn’t have really happened if i was just writing on a myspace blog or whatever the kids are up to these days, i guess. i mean, maybe it would have eventually happened, but not in the same way.

what is your writing/editing/layout process like?
most of the writing and artwork i use in my zines comes from my journals, and then is usually modified in some way. i type most of it on my typewriter, or write it by hand, even though i’m told my handwriting is notoriously difficult to read. sometimes, i use the computer, like for my last zine nourishing ourselves with herbs during pregnancy; it started as a project for school, so most of the writing was already done on the computer, and i wanted it to be easier to read. that zine is pretty different than zines i’ve made in the past in that sense, and because the subject matter i wrote about was pretty specific. i also drew pictures of some of the herbs i wrote about in the zine which was really fun, but i usually don’t really draw things on purpose. making all the drawings was really fun!

i usually have a general idea about what i want a zine to be like before i start making it, its in my head for a few weeks or months, rereading journals and picking things i want to be in the zine, collecting little bits of letters and photographs and scraps of paper, storing them in between notebooks and in folders for more weeks and months and eventually putting it together, then taking it apart and putting together again. once a friend of mine told me “i can tell that you are about done with your zine, considering how messy your room is and the fact that you’ve changed the layout five times in the last week”. truer words have never been spoken about my zine making process!

how do you think the zine community or the process of making zines has changed since you've been involved?
i’m not really sure how to answer this question, and i’ve been thinking about it a lot since you sent me the interview and keep getting stuck at the first sentence. nourishing ourselves with herbs during pregnancy is the first zine i’ve made in over three years and i haven’t really been too connected to the zine community as a result of that, at least not in the sense of trading zines and writing letters with people that i don’t know yet, or even as far as working with distros, the only distros that have my new zine are run by people i am friends with.

i feel like there is definitely not as much direct communication these days. i haven’t really gotten any letters or anything about my last zine that weren’t from friends of mine. this may in part be because the content is pretty specific to pregnancy and herbs, and it’s not very personal, more focused as a “how-to” zine or whatever. but i remember when you were carrying do not file under manifesto #5 and #6, how every time you asked to order more copies i was really surprised, because i had not really gotten any letters or even emails about them, and when i first made those zines, i got such an amazing response. so i don’t really know why things are different these days, it seems like. it’s something I have been thinking about. and like, do i see things differently because i have not been as involved, have things changed, or is it both?

to be honest, i feel a little intimidated doing another more personal zine with wider distribution. like, earlier today one of my friends told me about my zines getting sold on ebay, zines that i made when i was 18 and 19, and that i don’t even have any copies of myself, and probably sent to the person who sold them for free. it seems like every couple months i hear about something like that, and it’s disheartening for sure. although, i think it’s a good thing that all these conversations have been happening recently about if we are a community of zinesters, what does that actually mean, and what do we as a community think is acceptable, what are we okay with and how do we support each other and the projects we’re doing.

are you "out" to people in your life as a zinester? how do you explain it to people who don't understand?
most people in my life know about my zines, and i have met some of my dearest friends through making zines. since so many people in my life involved in d.i.y or punk in some way, it’s not like i exactly have to “come out” as a zinester very often. most of my housemates have read my zines and stuff, some of them even helped me with collating the last one! thanks!

as far as explaining it to people who maybe have never been exposed to zines goes, i will usually just give them a stack of zines if they are interested, zines i think that they would like based on the subject matter or if the zinester has a particular way of telling stories i think the person i am showing them to will relate to. it’s totally exciting, showing people zines when they haven’t seen them before, but i can’t remember the last time i did that.

what do you like best about the zine world? what do you like least?
i like the connections that i have formed with folks because of zines, all the amazing folks i’ve become close to, my life would not be there same without these people here. the dirty hands, i love it even when i hate it, you know, when my fingers are sore from sewing what seems like a million zine covers, and screen printing ink has created a thin coat all over my bedroom floor and all my clothes seem to be stained. i love hearing other peoples stories, having a full mailbox, zines and people that provoke me to think about something in a new way, getting letters from folks i don’t even know that tell me reading my words changed their life. going to parker convenience store on cass ave. and stocking up on typewriter ribbon. the feeling when a zine is almost done (even it is “almost done” for about three years, or “almost done” like this interview has been for close to a month!)

as for things that that frustrate me about zines, see a few questions above.

do zines play a political role in your life? are you involved in other d.i.y. projects? do they play a political role?
right now i am studying midwifery, this is my main project right now, it is the reason i uprooted myself from detroit and i am here in maine now, in midwifery school, and it is pretty incredible, i am learning so much. i probably would not be where i am right now if it was not for zines, because zines were pretty instrumental in developing the way i see reproductive rights.

i feel like my zines have always played a political role in my life, even if not in a very overt kind of way, or if i necessarily understood the weight of it at the time. i think the act of telling our stories, telling the truth about our lives can be a really radical act. realizing the connections we have, breaking silence and isolation. when i was younger and first writing zines, zines and the letters i traded with other girls gave me a context for the effects on sexism, homophobia, body image issues, and sexual violence on my life, rather than feeling isolated and guilty i felt angry that so many other girls had similar experiences, and this anger fuels action. in the context of reproductive rights, breaking the silence around our bodies, our lives, the choices and paths that bring us to where we stand now. i think demystifying our bodies is a really powerful thing. and connecting with each other honestly in a culture built on disconnection, that requires disconnection to survive it’s effects. and of course zines (and art in general) can remind us of the things that are beautiful and inspiring, the things that make us feel whole, the glimpses of the world we wish to create, the things that remind us of why we are fighting in the first place.

other than midwifery school, i’m not involved in too much here in portland, because studying and working seems to take up most of my time and i sometimes tend to overextend myself and take on way too many projects at once. myself and a couple friends have been talking about starting a mental health collective, but this idea has not totally materialized so far.

what advice might you have for someone who is new to the zine community?
i would say not too worry if your zine sucks at first because every zine sucks at first, and then you figure it out, and your zines get better. write lots of letters, remember the saying to get a letter, write a letter? (i need to take this advice myself!) and don’t get too bummed out if people don’t respond right away, zinesters can be really flaky. if you want to send out your zine for review, bear in mind that maximum rock and roll WILL give you a bad review! when i was 15 i send them one of my zines for review and they said that it was “hilarious to still be seeing riot grrrl zines in 1999”, oh and they questioned my stapling ability. try not to take that shit personally and get your zine out there. i got so many orders from that bad review!

also, are there copies of the zine etiquette guide around still? because i think everyone should read it.

what role do you think distros can/should play in the zine community?
i think the role of distros should be nurture the zine community, expose people to zines they might not have otherwise picked up, make zines more accessible, and support zinesters in getting their work out. is this the role that distros actually play? well, sometimes. i think that your distro does, and some other distros too, and distros like that are great resources for folks that are just getting involved in zines, zine makers, and people that have been reading zines for a long time.

are there changes you'd like to see in the zine community or your own zine creation?
as far as my own zine creation goes, i would like to finally finish the zine that has been brewing in my head for a couple years now at least, and become better at keeping in touch with people, and actually writing letters to people when i read their zines. finish the new zine mostly though.

communication is (still) everything: i’m moving in may, but you can email me to get my current address--nellycane@riseup.net or order my newest zine, "i still believe (in fire)" #1.